Jealousy and Envy in Marriage
Jealousy isn’t a good look unless you’re Nick Jonas around 2014 (and it won’t help you launch your solo career the way you want it to…trust us). But, hey, it happens—even when you’re in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful spouse.
In Reneturrek.com, you can find some jealousy and envy quotes that you may want to know.
Jealousy can be divided into two sorts.
The first is “reactive jealousy,” which occurs when you become aware that your relationship is in peril. The second reason you can’t stop looking at your boyfriend’s phone when he’s in the toilet is “suspicious jealousy.”
When a spouse hasn’t done anything wrong, it’s called suspicious jealousy. Even though there is no evidence that this person has engaged in any behaviour that would significantly and possibly legitimately jeopardise the relationship’s future, your relationship fears, poor self-confidence, or mistrust in your partner feed your suspicion and eventual jealousy.
This distinction is critical because, as she argues, practically everyone experiences reactive jealousy when they discover their partner has been unfaithful or is acting in a way that jeopardises the relationship. People, on the other hand, differ in their proclivity to experience suspicious jealousy in the absence of a true threat.
This is because “some persons appear to be inherently or temperamentally jealous than others.” Oh, and there’s another great thing about relationship jealousy: you can get it from your parents (which makes you feel a little better about inheriting your mother’s nose, huh?).
When it comes to the role of jealousy in committed partnerships, jealous parents are likely to transmit lenient or even supportive attitudes.
Another (obvious) culprit is your history. If you’ve been burnt before by a cheating partner, you’re more likely to be jealous because you don’t want to be duped again.
To protect yourself from turning green with envy, use these seven expert-approved strategies:
now who you are (and your little green-eyed monster).
Take stock of your natural predisposition towards jealousy before you go all Sherlock Holmes on your S.O.’s social media. Consider when that irritating emotion first appeared and what events, if any, triggered it.
This will assist you to figure out if the jealousy you’re experiencing is genuine intuition or just worry or fear of losing your relationship masquerading as intuition. If you’re rarely jealous, your gut instinct is more likely to be correct than if you’re often jealous.
Take a step back from the attack.
Rather than confronting your partner with weapons blazing, simply express your feelings. (To remove some of the accusatory overtones, try utilising “I” sentences, such as “I’m feeling like X because of Y.”)
The best method to figure out if you have a problem and what to do about it is to talk it over with your partner. This can also help you start a conversation with your spouse about what might provoke jealousy in you (it’ll happen to them, too), so you can both be aware of any legitimate concerns in the future.
If you talk things over with them and they assure you that your jealousy is baseless, but you still feel it, you should consult a professional who can help you work through your feelings.
Set apprpriate limits for yourself.
Jealousy frequently implies a lack of appropriate limits.
Yes, you want to feel connected to your partner and secure in their presence, but they shouldn’t be your lifeline. A concern is having too strict boundaries that don’t allow for decent (emphasis on reasonable) connection with persons outside your partnership.
This is also a good opportunity to talk about appropriate boundaries, expectations for relationships with coworkers, friends, neighbours, and past flames, and what level of regular checking in or contact you think is suitable.
Setting appropriate relationship boundaries (for example, lunches with your work husband are fine, but texting after hours is not) will help you avoid a future meltdown.
Examine yourself in the mirror.
Jealousy is frequently the result of being overly reliant on your relationship and lacking a strong feeling of self-worth as an individual. Examining yourself objectively, without regard for any relationship.
Then there’s the difficult question: Do romantic connections impact how you feel about yourself and your self-worth?
If you answered yes, regardless of your relationship status, we recommend that you “spend time with friends and family who think you’re amazing and care about you.”
Theyll be the first to remind you why you’re amazing because they adore you for who you are (and have probably been missing you since you became a committed pair).
Make your own decisions.
Love can make you do crazy things, but your insecurities can, too. (Remember that time you were three years into your S.O.’s college ex’s Instagram? Things like that, for example.) “Jealousy is exacerbated by feelings of inadequacy.
It’s crucial to know that your jealousy may have nothing to do with that cute coworker who commented on your partner’s post and everything to do with your lack of self-confidence before you can take down that little green monster (or lack thereof).
Expand your horizons so that your identity isn’t only defined by your relationship status. It might be anything from trying a new gym class to mastering a new talent, such as learning a new language. Do whatever makes you feel like a true badass.
Plus, self-improvement is a lot of fun.
Plying the comparison game is a waste of time.
Because you are comparing yourself to people around you, you may grow envious or concerned that your partner is attracted to others. You can always find something to dislike about yourself if you do this.
Instead of focusing on your flaws, she recommends focusing on your strengths. Maybe you’re a natural at being generous, or you can always make people laugh.
Remember love trumps jealousy.
Jealousy won’t show your partner how much you love them unless you’re acting like a couple in a daytime drama. And, surprise, surprise, it’s not a long-term happiness recipe.
Some couples can develop an odd form of steady instability in which envy leads to conflict, which leads to reconciliation. This is a draining and damaging pattern.
On the other hand, attempting to make your lover jealous to see how much they love you can backfire.
Instead, when envy arises, recall particular instances when you felt appreciated by your partner. That will remind you of what love is and, more importantly, what it isn’t.